1. HTML is . . .

   a computer software package
   a programming language
   the British CIA in Indonesia
   a surly mixed guava cocktail
   what I get from my mother's cooking
   
   

2. You take care of your computer by:

   watering it often
   beating it regularly
   letting it snort heroin
   not letting it smoke
   singing to it
   
   

3. The higher your modem speed, the faster . . .

   your eyeballs will fry
   you will get cancer
   scary men will find you
   your phone will ring
   information arrives at your doorstep
   
   

4. Computers make fine:

   weapons
   chewing gum
   sexual toys
   jewelry
   punching bags
   
   

5. Respiration is:

   something only the new PowerMacs can perform
   overrated
   the coupling of two Great Turtles
   Newt Gingrich's cologne
   why plants are green
   
   

6. The Internet is also known as:

   breakfast
   the Information Superhighway
   my mother
   the West Coast's I-95
   home
   
   

7. DPI refers to:

   Data Process Information
   Data Protocol Integration
   Denny's Pork Ice-cream
   Dots Per Inch
   Diptheria
   
   

8. A typical thing that your boyfriend/girlfriend would say to you is: (having said boy/girl-friend my be considered hypothetically if necessary)

   who are you?
   remember that thing with the Marachino Cherries? Well I can do it upside-down now. So, what's with the computer?
   have you eaten all of your broccoli today?
   start runnin', or I'm going to fire!
   I just love what you do with your PC!
   
   

9. The easiest way to jumpstart a computer is:

   with caffeine
   with my breath
   a good pick-up line
   by using the power button
   through The Force
   
   

10. DOOM is best described as:

    666
    a bloodthirsty PC slaughterfest
    the militia-man's bible
    a waste of time
    the nickname of my Chevy Nova
    
    

11. Ethically, I find recent laboratory experiments combining Bill Gates DNA with silicon microchips to be:

    hobbleygobbleygook
    dispicable; God will punish the offspring by making them in the image of Beavis and Butthead, and you can quote me on that!
    Huh?
    No problem at all. Hell, I want one!
    on par with the Oprah Windrey Show
    
    

12. This survey:

    was not as exciting as my computer lab
    is the worst thing since processed cheese
    has allowed me to get in touch with my feminine nature.
    was written by a twisted little freak
    held my attention as long as my last s.o
    

1. Are you comfortable sending and receiving email messages?

yes
no

2. Do you need help with attachments?

yes
no

3. Are you comfortable saving files to a floppy disk or the hard drive and finding them again?

yes
no

4. Are you comfortable with the Internet?

yes
no

5. Do you need to know about plug-ins and downloading?

yes
no

1. Are you comfortable using the mouse, including double-clicking?

yes
no

2. Are you comfortable typing simple letters or documents using your favorite wordprocessor (Word, WordPerfect, Claris Works, etc.)?

yes
no

3. Have you spent time on the web so you feel comfortable going to a specific address and bookmarking sites?

yes
no

4. Are you comfortable saving files to a floppy disk or the hard drive and finding them again?

yes
no

5. Are you comfortable sending and receiving email messages?

yes
no

6. Are you able to install and use simple software (such as that which you can check out from REMC)?

yes
no

Your First Name

1. Do you know how to open/close a document?

yes
no

2. Do you know how to save a document?

yes
no

3. Do you know how to print a document?

yes
no

4. Do you know how to use the Spell Check feature?

yes
no

5. Do you know how to use the cut/copy/paste feature?

yes
no

6. Do you know how to format text?

yes
no

7. Do you know how to use the AutoCorrect feature?

yes
no

8. Do you know how to change the top, bottom, left, and right margins?

yes
no